Remember how you would always appreciate the love you receive from your friends and family? The way they acknowledge your presence? The way they always remember to care for you? The way they always make you sure that you know that they love you?
Remember how that made you feel?
It made you feel as if you’re the best person in the world. It made you feel as if nothing’s wrong with you. It made you feel as if no one will ever leave you behind. But at the end of the day you still long for the attention of someone who doesn’t even care for you.
Regardless of the countless number of people who remembers that you are worth it in their life, you still want the presence of someone who doesn’t even remember the small things about you the same way you remember his. That even though all other persons would tell you that they’ll always be there for you, you still want that certain person who doesn’t even take a minute to even glance at you. That person who makes you feel like you’re shittier and messier than you already are. That person who wouldn’t want to hang out with you but still talks to you in chat boxes and text messages. That person who you still want to be with but he doesn’t want anything but space.
It’s so ironic how we want someone that doesn’t want us back even though there are a lot of people who are there for us whenever we need them. It makes you think if you really appreciate the little things. Why do we always want what we can’t have? Why do we make ourselves suffer the pain of waiting to be appreciated by someone? Why are we letting ourselves be trash?
Because I know that I am so much better than this.
I am so much better than being ignored. I deserve the attention because I am a caring person. I appreciate other people and I deserve to be appreciated back. I think about people a lot, and that’s something important from a person who feels like they’re not worth it in anyone’s lives.
I’ll get through this, I guess. I hope so.