Roller Semester Coaster

My fifth semester in college has finally ended. Finally.

It all started a bit dull and stressful at the same time. Everything was still not in place. My units were still incomplete. I already had two performances during the first day of classes. I was already tired, it was just the first week of the semester. Right then and there, I expected that this semester will be tiring. But I was not completely right, this semester brought my social being to a whole new level. I’m even surprised that an introvert like me would end up in a strangers bed a whole of times. I could consider this semester the phase of our lives wherein I am finally getting to know myself more, I am finally slowly going outside the box, I am finally letting other people know who I truly am.

Let me start off with my academics. The main reason why I am even in college in the first place. Unfortunately, I had let myself down. I couldn’t even remember an exam I passed during the first half of the semester. Everything was so stressful and tiring I can’t even have time to study for my subjects and it sucks. Because all I ever wanted was to study and to make everything right because everything was going on the wrong places and I hate it. Gladly, I was able to pull those scores up during the latter part of the semester. The latter part where activities were minimal and everyone was tired as well.

Groups in classes are also memorable this semester. I’ve met a lot of great people. Some of them may be too hard to handle but I was still able to control myself because that’s just how I am. (LOL) My groups in the lab and groups in group projects, they’re just one great thing and has helped me go through this semester smoothly.

Good news is most of my subjects are in good standing and I feel like I’m going to pass them but there’s one subject that I am in danger of. I don’t even know what to expect from it. I’m so tired of it and I just want to quit already. (Maybe I’ll just retake it if I ever fail it. Sighs.)

Next thing is my dancing. Dancing. Dancing. SJ. Dancing.

Everything about this semester has been for dancing and for the group. Most of my time has been dedicated for the group. Most of the people I spent time with is in this group. Most of the things I thought about is because of the issues and problems of the group. And I don’t regret any of it. Even though during the course of the semester I’ve thought about quitting and just leaving it all behind, I still stayed because I loved what I was doing.

I was part of more than ten performances. I performed in front of a lot of people. I performed with the the best people that I know and will forever love. And it all is memorable even though the trainings and preparations and emotions were tough. I can still remember the fun I had…and the emotions that spurred and made me love the group more and made me stay.

Anyway, another highlight of this semester is the new apartment. New apartment means new people. New experiences. New things to try. And a chance to finally do something that no one from my past will judge me.

Guess what? I did what I thought I will never do (but I know I always wanted to do) because of what the people from my past taught me. Hehe. :)

I wanted to write about a significant person I met this semester. But he’s too toxic for me and this post is just too nostalgic and beautiful, I don’t want to ruin it. Let me just say that he gave me too much to remember and gave way to another being who is much more greater than he is and I am thankful.

Let me just take this opportunity to be grateful of the people who believed in me and did not gave up on me. Even though I’ve been really selfish and don’t even listen to most of their advices, they’re still here. Despite how I badly need attention and someone to talk to, they still stick up to me and listen to what I need to say. One thing I needed this semester is those kind of people.

This semester is a literal roller coaster ride. One moment I was in the high, the next thing I knew I’m suddenly thinking about dying and wanting to end my life. Funny how I never get used to it. Maybe all I want is to finally be eternally happy. Somehow I want some consistency in my life. Nevertheless, this semester also gave me so many challenges and I’ve faced them. I am proud to say that I have survived.

And now is the start of my break. It’s time for a marathon of series, movies, books, and writing. And hopefully, more time to get to know people.


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