It was a big deal for me—turning eighteen—that I wanted something to change. Nothing specific and special but I just really wanted to change something within and out that will make people understand that I am eighteen and is slowly learning how to adult. So, right after I turned eighteen I did some simple things.
I got rid of some of my old clothes (or clothes I don’t want to wear anymore) and piece-by-piece, I am buying new ones. This is a metaphor of me getting rid of my old self and now becoming open to a new horizon and new challenges ahead of me. That I am ready to be a new version of myself—a mature one. Because I don’t want to be that cliché who wants to start anew so I change everything, so I change only what I want to change. I am not that kid who got lost while falling anymore, I’m already that lady who is ready to fight and is brave enough to face what could’ve been and what we will not be.
I bought and learned how to put on make-up. Because I am already in that age that I value what I look like on the outside. Unlike when I was thirteen and I deeply despise girls who wear “too much” make-up because the beauty inside us is what’s more important. Now I aim on making a good impression to every person I meet, it may be a stranger or a new classmate, a new love or a new heartbreak. I just want to be get my game face on every day basically. Because right now, I’m into believing that I am beautiful. Eyebrows on fleek!
I made sure my future is stable. I placed a huge amount of money on my bank account just to be sure for my future. It is for my future. This is what adulting really is, being ready to settle for the future. I know I may be using it for other stuff for the next couple of years but I know for sure that this means that I should already not be always depending on my parents. This time it’s all up to me.
Because of these I started doing things on my own. Depositing the money by myself was one and shopping by myself was the next. It was a challenge, I know, but I initiated it because I wanted to learn because I know that I’ll be dealing with that soon. Well, being alone was not a problem with me, really. It was the decisions to be made while being alone and you got no one to ask about it.
I know these are just small things, definitely for beginners.But I know that there will be more adventures for me as my life goes on. I know that there will be something more up ahead for me. And I am getting ready for it. I will be ready for anything that may come in my way even though I know that any time now I might break down and get tired of life and maybe just give up. But that’s just how life goes. You get older, you get tired, you get motivated, you get disappointed, you give up, but between t It’s a cycle that never ends and I hope that for me, it will not end soon.