Earlier tonight I just realized something, I only have seventeen days left before I turn eighteen. Before I become a lady. Before I become legal. What sucks is that it may seem that it’s not a big deal for me, but really it is. What sucks is I made plans in my head on how I will celebrate it, I expected it to happen. I thought we made plans because my family and I were constantly talking about on how I will celebrate it for the past few months.
And now look at us. No planning. No nothing. Regardless how many times I said that a really special night is not important, I would really like one. Because at least for one night I will feel special and the only center of attention. I don’t have to fight over attention with somebody else.
I sound so selfish but hey, it’s a pathetic girl’s dream.
To have that dance. To have people wishing you all the greatness in the world. To have people greet you a happy birthday. To just feel special. To be the princess you’ve always wanted to be.
Well, looks like it’ll never happen. And now I’m going to be stuck here in our house, rotten and head is aching and heart is aching.
I’m stuck between just accepting the fact that my wildest dreams will never happen or just continue killing myself by expecting that it will happen.