It Sucks To Be Me

I was just doing my daily routine of wanting to eat dinner right after our training when suddenly I saw him standing there–with a girl. Kind of lucky already since I saw him thrice already, but this time with someone who seems like they’re really fond of each other. Who am I even to blame but myself since we don’t really know each other personally? I am just that girl who has a crush on someone who isn’t even aware that I like him.

What really struck me about what I felt is that I felt like I wanted to be that girl. I wanted to be that girl who walks next to him and laughs at him and smiles at him and jokes with him. I just basically want to be with him, to get to know him, and to spend a lot of time with him. This is the moment that I realize that I am so weak. I am weak because I have no guts to tell him, to go up to him and tell him that I like him even though it may seem weird and stalker-ish. But seriously, I feel so frustrated. I really want to tell him everything I felt since that day I told myself that I have a crush on him.

It’s been more than a year.

Is this even normal?

Am I really doing the right thing?

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